Hello Mabs
I have a problem with my passenger. Every time we’re in the car, they have something to say about my driving. I’m told to slow down, brake earlier, keep more distance, watch the car in front of me, even when I’m perfectly aware of what’s happening on the road. I know they’re probably only trying to help, but it’s becoming really distracting and, quite honestly, I’m starting to dread having them in the car. At what point does helpful advice become backseat driving? And how do I tell them to trust the person behind the wheel without starting an argument?
Mabs Answers
There’s a difference between being a helpful passenger and becoming an unofficial driving instructor. If you spot an immediate danger, by all means speak up. That little warning could make all the difference. But constantly commenting on someone’s speed, braking, lane position or every decision they make can actually become distracting and that’s not helpful to anyone.
The person behind the wheel needs to concentrate on the road, make decisions and remain responsible for the vehicle. They don’t need a running commentary from the passenger seat.
Have the conversation before you’re back in the car. Explain that you appreciate them looking out for you, but the constant corrections are making you uncomfortable and taking your attention away from driving. Agree on one simple rule: if there’s a genuine danger, say something. Otherwise, let the driver drive.
