Revved Up with Tumi Motoba
What do we normally look at when we are shopping for a new car? How it looks, fuel consumption, the engine size, space, torque, and so on. But one thing that is important, yet falls under functionality, is the dreaded cup holder.
I know most people do not deem this important — oh, but it is. Morning coffee is a matter of life and death to some people. Now imagine driving a car that does not support your morning waking-up ritual. I do not think any of us want that. What about your smoothie or protein shake on your way to the gym? Good cup holders are no longer a luxury but a necessity indeed.
Let us be honest: a car can have 0–100 km/h acceleration that makes your heart skip, a boot big enough to carry your entire December grocery haul, and a sound system that makes you feel like you are headlining your own concert. But if your cup holder cannot hold your grande cappuccino without wobbling like it is auditioning for Dancing with the Stars, what are we even doing?
There is nothing more humbling than braking gently at a robot, only for your coffee to lurch forward dramatically and baptise your gear lever. Suddenly torque means nothing. Horsepower? Irrelevant. You are now in survival mode.
Size Matters (Yes, Even Here)
Not all cup holders are created equal. Some are built for those tiny water bottles you buy when you forgot your own. Others are clearly designed by someone who believes humans only drink espresso shots and nothing more.
Then there are the overachievers — the cup holders that confidently embrace your iced latte, your 1.5L water bottle, your takeaway smoothie, and possibly your emotional support iced coffee.
Manufacturers, please understand: South Africans are committed to beverages. We hydrate. We caffeinate. We buy drinks at drive-thrus and then proceed to drive. This is not a rare occurrence. It is a lifestyle.
Placement Is Political
Let us also talk about placement. Why is the cup holder sometimes positioned in a way that forces you to perform yoga every time you reach for your drink? Or worse — placed directly behind the gear lever. So every time you change gears, you gently punch your own cappuccino. Manual drivers, you know the struggle.
And if you are driving with a friend and both of you have drinks? Suddenly it is a negotiation. “Whose coffee goes where?” “Who is more important?” “Is this friendship strong enough to survive this?” These are the real tests of character.
Stability Over Speed
In a world obsessed with performance figures and top speeds, perhaps it is time we start adding a new category to car reviews:
0–100 km/h: 8.2 seconds
Fuel consumption: 6.5L/100 km
Cup Holder Stability Rating: Elite
Because what good is speed if your caramel latte is doing laps inside the cabin?
The Final Sip
We joke, but small details like cup holders actually say a lot about how much thought went into a car’s design. They reflect how manufacturers understand real-world driving. Not just the open road and scenic routes — but school runs, traffic jams, early-morning commutes, and that desperate drive to work when caffeine is your only personality trait.
So next time you are shopping for a car, do not just rev the engine. Bring your favourite takeaway cup with you. Test it. Wiggle it. Brake gently. Live dangerously. Now, I understand that the big Stanley sippy cup is a monster, and I will salute any manufacturer who eventually makes — or has made — a cup holder that can accommodate that bad boy.
Because sometimes, the true mark of a great car is not just how fast it goes — but whether it protects your coffee. And yes, this is a matter of life and death, because at least with a reliable cup holder, you might not swerve trying to save your falling, piping- hot coffee and cause an accident. Some might say that is highly unlikely, but none of us want to be the one who finds themselves in that situation. So let us put some respect on the cup holder, please.
Note: We do not in any way encourage or promote drinking and driving. Never drive under the influence. Rather call a cab or use a ride-hailing service.
